The song lyrics "Pieces of me" by Ledisi has become somewhat of an anthem or motto for me, and I'm sure for many other women as well. The lyrics touch on the fact that although women are seen as strong and sometimes unbreakable, we are also human. That fact seems to be forgotten by men, and sometimes by us as well. It seems that black women's feelings are disregarded more, but I will not and do not want to separate. Due to feeling that is part of the problem, but that is another discussion meant for another time.

How does any of the above relate to dating?

Many men say they want a strong woman who know who she is, but when they are lucky enough to find this type of woman they mistreat her. Trying to make her lower herself from who she truly is. Her goals aren't strictly to get married, but include being successful in her career, maybe even continuing education or running a business. For many men that seems strange and hard to understand that a woman would put a career first instead of a man and raising kids.

To me it doesn't seem strange at all, and why shouldn't that woman be just as loved and cherished as the one who decides to do the opposite. If I must quote the lyrics "can run the business, and play the fantasy too."

Funny I was listening to a radio show where a female listener sent a email explaining about how her mother hates the man she is dating due to her education and income exceeding his. She then goes on to say how it is hard to meet a man that is on the same level she is. The man has served time, she feels he has paid his dues to society, the most important thing to her is that he appreciates and respects her.

I'm thinking "wow this woman shouldn't have this problem" for many reasons. Her mother should be happy that her daughter is happy and why were other men turned off? The old excuses of too smart, I want someone who is independent but not that independent, or my favorite...intimidating. Wow! A beautiful, smart, independent woman is attracted to you, but you are intimidated or she is intimidating. What? In this day and age that type of thinking should be put to death. What do you think?

Crystal Reign Brock
"Considerations of Life poems and expressions"